The Shapiro Files

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Cuts Like a Knife

KnifeA few years ago, I caught an episode of the television series Everybody Loves Raymond that I felt epitomized what it is to be married (fans of the show might argue that every episode did this). The episode concerns a suitcase left on the staircase (I missed the beginning so I don’t know the events leading up to its being placed there) and for the rest of the episode, Ray and his wife Debra passive-agressively wait for the other to remove the misplaced item. Each grows increasingly frustrated with the other (both avoid explicitly saying anything to the other out of stubborn pride) and Ray even raises the stakes by placing some rotting cheese in the suitcase hoping the offending smell would motivate Debra to cave and put the thing away. And so the episode continues in this vein until the inevitable funny (but surprisingly insightful) yelling-match conclusion.

Well, it looks like Marcie and I are now caught in a similar standoff over a Henckels paring knife.

For the entire time that we’ve been married, we’ve been pretty equal in terms of dishwashing duties. The general rule is that whoever cooks, the other person cleans. But there’s one very strange exception to this: knives. For reasons I’ll probably never understand, Marcie avoids cleaning knives like Mel Gibson avoids sobriety. However, she certainly likes to use knives well enough. Such is the case with a nice set of Henckels knives we received as a wedding gift back in 2000. In particular, she loves using the set’s little paring knife for just about everything that requires cutting.

Unlike Marcie, I typically avoid using the Henckels knives because they require hand-washing (life’s short enough) and I find that our everyday machine-washable knives work just fine for most uses (slicing bananas, cutting up small pieces of food for Melody, etc.). But I realize that cutlery preferences are a personal thing and I have no qualms about Marcie’s paring knife inclinations.

However, once she uses that little guy, it ends up on the counter or in the sink where it seems to me that it remains untouched until I end up having to clean it. Now, in her defense, Marcie insists that she indeed does, in fact, wash knives. But I have a feeling that in the case of the paring knife, it’s either the exception to the rule or she only washes it before using it instead of after (the difference is subtle yet significant).

So after seeing that little paring knife make yet another appearance in our sink this weekend, I vowed to not wash it and just see how long it’ll remain in the sink. Well, today is Tuesday and it’s still there. Will it continue holding its position until tomorrow? Next week? Next millennium? Stay tuned.

UPDATE (8/11/06): The knife is no longer in the sink. Clean at last, it sits happily in its hardwood block home with all its Henckels neighbors. Minus the few days Marcie was feeling under the weather this week (poor Marcie!), I'd say the knife remained unwashed for maybe a total of 3 or 4 days. Not quite the comic results I was hoping for, but I guess life can't always imitate art!

6 Comments:

  • I'm more curious about what Marcie thinks of this posting. ;)

    By Blogger Rebecca, at 8/09/2006 1:49 PM  

  • That's funny Steve! Our solution is that Bradley does ALL the dishes, lucky me! :)

    Looking forward to seeing how long the knife stays in the sink.

    And...I did see that episode, it was a good one.

    Jody

    By Anonymous Jody, at 8/10/2006 7:20 AM  

  • Becky, I was waiting for someone to ask about what would happen if Marcie saw the post! :) The fact is, Marcie very rarely reads my blog. I don't blame her; she gets enough of my nonsense 24/7 already! But even if she does find her way to this posting, I figured it would be my equivalent of Ray Romano's rotting cheese stake-raising attempt.

    Jody, that's very nice that Brad does all the dishes. Sounds like a great arrangement!

    By the way, today is Thursday and the knife is still in the sink. However, Marcie has been very under the weather for the past couple of days, so I should probably subtract these days from the grand total whenever the standoff ends (if it ends)!

    By Blogger Steve Shapiro, at 8/10/2006 9:36 AM  

  • Is the knife still in the sink???

    LOL

    Love,
    Aunt Linda

    By Anonymous Aunt Linda, at 8/13/2006 10:49 AM  

  • Nope, the knife is gone! I added an update at the bottom of the entry, but to avoid making you seek it out, I'll copy and paste it here:

    UPDATE (8/11/06): The knife is no longer in the sink. Clean at last, it sits happily in its hardwood block home with all its Henckels neighbors. Minus the few days Marcie was feeling under the weather this week (poor Marcie!), I'd say the knife remained unwashed for maybe a total of 3 or 4 days. Not quite the comic results I was hoping for, but I guess life can't always imitate art!

    By Blogger Steve Shapiro, at 8/14/2006 1:23 PM  

  • I finally found this posting. And I laughed so hard you wouldn't believe!!! Looks like I need to start my own blog so that I can tell you all about Steve's funny habits. Yes...the knife thing is true. I subconsciously have this thing against washing knives, but there are worse things and as I tell Steve...he knew the job was dangerous when he took it!!! :-)

    By Anonymous Marcie, at 10/23/2006 12:23 AM  

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