Cows!

Sandra Boynton is evil.

I recently purchased for Melody and Julianne a combo CD/book of songs written by well-known greeting card designer and children’s book writer/illustrator Sandra Boynton. Called Philadelphia Chickens, the collection is a whimsical pseudo-musical review of songs about various animals and other silly topics performed by Boynton’s very talented musical collaborators and a bunch of celebrities such as Meryl Streep and Kevin Kline. The music is catchy and can be enjoyed by both adults and children alike.

So why is Boynton evil? The answer: a song called “Cows.”

“Cows” is the opening track of the album and is very much in the style of “One” from A Chorus Line. It’s exactly the kind of silly song that I might be inclined to write if I had to make cows its topic. I certainly thought it was amusing enough when I first played it and was hoping Melody might enjoy it as well. As it turns out, she didn’t just enjoy the song; she became absolutely obsessed with it.

At first, I thought it was absolutely adorable when Melody would point at our music player and say “Cows!” Then I thought it was pretty cute that she’d keep asking me to repeat the song when it was finished. But after the umpteenth time playing the song (and eventually setting iTunes to loop it after that), things started getting a little less charming.

Now, I’m the first to admit that any song with lyrics such as “Cows! We’re remarkable cows/And where we go it’s quite a show/Yes you know we are cows” and “If you thought that all we could do is go moo/Then you ought to come and see what we do” should be endlessly giggle-worthy. But I challenge you to read the above words one hundred times (not ten, not twenty, but one hundred!) and see if you’re still giggling.

Cows indeed. Curse you Boynton!